I guess I heart my body a bit

So here's the thing. I have read the other entries and I love the message of I Heart My Body 2011. I think the job We Heart Life are doing is fantastic. But what can I say? I am as critical of my body as I was when puberty first struck, if not much, much more. But I want to try and put this out there anyway. I'm winging it, internet.

Here is me at the smallest I have been as an adult. The top picture was around the time I conceived my son, and the bottom when I was 8 weeks pregnant. I wouldn't take that damn shirt off to go swimming. I was 47kg! Man, those were tough times. I was dealing with my share of difficult times, and really thought I needed to lose some weight. I was unhappy in my studies at uni, in my job as a restaurant manager, and my relationship with my [now] husband had ended very, very badly. I was a total mess and the only way I could feel like I had any control at all was to control my body. I wasn't particularly iron-fisted on what I'd put into my mouth but I was a poor uni student so if I only had enough for food or wine, well take a guess which one I'd sacrifice? Couple that with working my body as hard as I could both at work and after when I would undertake massive late night cross-Brisbane treks just to occupy my mind.

Welp, fast forward three years and I have never managed to lost my baby weight much to the relief of my husband and family. But it is so difficult for me to bare when I feel like I am drowning in my own body some times. I am a pretty healthy 65kg which is on the top end of my BMI as a 162cm lassy. For months leading up to my wedding this July I stressed and starved. I ran and consumed diet shakes and cut out fun from my life. I lost absolutely nothing. After the wedding I relaxed my diet and just stuck to a few good runs a week and my body has stayed exactly the same. So I guess where I'm going is; this is me and I can muster up a bit of love for it. *ahem* ok, I heart my body:

Supergirl undies of course

To be honest, I still can't face the front on ones. Hubster and I have decided to add to our family and hope to have good news to share sooner rather than later. That's the best part of my body - it can make babies! You should see the one carried already!