Wednesday, August 24, 2011

I've lost my marbles. I've gone loopy, lost the plot. The kids are currently swimming in a lounge room sea of toys, toast and clean laundry that was folded ready to be put away. I am so sick and tired of hearing my own voice that I've given up on trying to direct traffic this morning. I am battling a shitty cold and most probably a chronic case of PMS and as if that isn't enough; we are out of coffee.

It has occurred to me in the past that maybe I put a little too much pressure on myself. I recently quit my full time job because working 50 + hours and keeping up with the circus of being a wife, mother, housekeeper, cook, cleaner, laundromat, dog walker and groomer etc. etc. was turning me into a balding, babbling idiot. The icing on the mamma-guilt cake was that Axel suddenly started begging not to go to daycare. So I waited until it was financially viable for us as a household and quit my job. I took an awesome month off (annual leave, I love you) and enjoyed the wedding of my dreams and a honeymoon period that went beyond just ten days in Bali. Lots of spending and eating and drinking. Naturally as soon as we got back to normal I've taken on more work than was originally planned, including two days of babysitting my baby niece. That means I'm working seven days a week. Oops.

So something has to give, and today it's.. well, everything. Axel has been yelling at me for this whole post because he said PEANUT BUTTER NOT JAM on his toast. Tilly was chewing the computer cords for much of this post but I got up a moment ago and put her in her highchair with a scone to chew on. She is staring daggers at me; maybe she doesn't like date scones. I would normally be raging about the laundry because if there is one motherfucking chore I hate to do it's fold laundry, but today I am choosing to ignore it. Future Amy's problem. At some point I will have to tend to the children again, but for now it's me time, suckers.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Things that shit me today

In no particular order, here are the things that shit me today.

  • Washing the giant white dog, then watching as he breaks the lead and runs over to the compost area
  • Headache for no foreseeable reason
  • Disgusting mess on my veranda thanks to drunken fools last night, particularly the smoke butts as no one that lives here smokes 
  • The butcher who hit on me this morning; the first few times it was flattering but now it's just awkward and annoying and not even worth the fifty cents he takes off the dog bones
  • Stupid white chef jackets that I have to launder and iron that NEVER stay white
  • Chuggington. I hate your stupid song, just shut your face
  • My pay is three days late and I could really use that money for food and fuel and bills thanks
Argh. Stupid woman bitching about first world problems. It's one of those days. 

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Lucky Ones

I could've slept in for ever today. I am tired enough for it, and my little guy is spending some quality time with my in laws. My little sister is in town so we joined hubster and a few of his friends at the local for some drinks and dance-like-no-one's-judging fun last night. But I was sitting bolt upright this morning at the familiar time of 6:30 wondering why there wasn't a little warm body with cold feet trying to steal all the blankets. Last night (possibly the wee hours of this morning) when we returned with greasy McDonalds in hand we saw the news that a man has been charged with the murder of Daniel Morcombe, a 14 year old boy who was abducted not far from where I live in 2003. For eight years his parents have waited for answers, for closure. And now they have it, as police search through bushland on the Sunshine Coast today for his remains. Can you imagine eight years of not knowing what happened to your child? My heart has been aching for his parents this morning, as they have to face what their minds would have known for a while now, but what their hearts weren't prepared to believe.

So I could've slept in forever, heck I could be in bed right now with not a single annoying husband or needy toddler in sight. But instead I'm sitting by the window waiting for Axel to get home safely so I can squeeze his little head.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Bad Mama

I just went ballistic at Axel. He was being a rat bag but it was a bit off kilter. The slightest thing is setting me off lately. And I'm sick and moody. Either this is the world's worst PMS or I'm a genuine crazy lady now.

I have my 9 month old niece here today and she has been testing my strength as well. Always with the crying and needing assistance and supervision. Why can't kids just be like adults!? She is asleep now and it was Axel's screeching and whooping that made me angry before. If he wakes her up prematurely I might just cry.

Last night I snuck out of the house to watch a show at Brisbane Powerhouse. It was so nice to get out, but I felt ripped off when one of the trio of Post was replaced by a dude because she's off having a baby. It's not excuse I tell you! She's meant to be a she. Not a he in a wig. The show was followed by a trip down memory lane; to the Pancake Manor on Charlotte St. The old church fills me with nostalgia of my younger, singler days. I don't miss it as such, but it was nice to go and sit and chat to old friends until the wee hours. The pancakes have changed (how disappointment) but the company hasn't.

Now for a giant cup of coffee.

Saturday, August 6, 2011


Today did not go as planned.

The plan wasn't set in stone or too important, but it mostly centered around cleaning up the unknown pubes and spews left in my bathroom thanks to the impromptu house party here on Thursday night. It wasn't my doing; I was at work when it began and it ended pretty swiftly when I got home. Friends of ours got married on Thursday at the registry office, and had nothing better planned so ended up raiding my liquor cabinet that night while I worked my butt off. Thanks to working all day yesterday, the place was still a total shitfight this morning. And still is now.

This morning during his nap I noticed Axel making weird noises. I went and checked on him to find him virtually choking on his enlarged tonsils. Sooo it was off to the emergency ward where we waited to see a doctor. And waited, and waited, for four hours. The most frustrating part is when we finally got in [to see an excellent pediatrician] there was no better news than to send us on our way with a referral that is expected to take around four months. Thanks Queensland Health system! I hope my kid doesn't die while you're sorting your shit out. It is the kick in the pants we need to get off our butts and buy private health insurance, with the only problem being the money to get it. Ah well, maybe less parties.

Anyway, as Saturday winds to a close I am sitting here nursing a strong drink. I am meant to be at work and Axel with his uncle for the night, but seeing as I had to call in sick I kept him home anyway. He is eating a sandwich for dinner because the meal planned was for the slow cooker, and being home is a requirement when using a slow cooker. The house is a mess, the dogs haven't had any attention or exercise and the laundry basket doth overflow. Whatever, there's always tomorrow.

Friday, August 5, 2011

I keep forgetting to be a blogger

So July was a busy month! I finished up at my job, got married, went to Bali, came back to find my son has fully transformed into an evil genius and my bank account has been emptied. Woohoo!

July Debrief Commence!

Quitting my job (as I mentioned already) was scary shizzle, but I am so relieved to be rid of that place. I popped in the other day after not seeing it for a month and had several customers ask me when I was coming back. Oh they loves them some Amy! Most of my staff have jumped ship, and the remaining two original staff members look pretty miserable. It's not nice to enjoy that sort of thing is it? But maybe now the owners will appreciate my work... not likely.

Then we got married! I had to leave my last day of work early to drive down to the bay to have a rehearsal with the celebrant. It was freezing cold and blowing a gale. The celebrant declared we wouldn't be able to marry outside. I was devastated and made her promise to wait and see what the weather would be like in a few days. The night before the wedding we spontaneously met up with family and friends for dinner. It was the most fun I've had in ages and I am so thankful that it worked out so well. The next morning it was cold and dreary with misty rain. I decided there was no point in wallowing and stayed positive. By midday it was bright, sunny and still. Perfect! The wedding went ahead perfectly, with the only drama being that one of the cars didn't show and we had to be ferried in the same car to the reception, making me a very late bride. But that's the point right?

Bali was um... a culture shock. It was definitely an interesting experience. I don't think I could ever learn to be comfortable with being a rich person in a poor country. The desperation and despair was incredibly unnerving, and the pressure to buy, spend, eat, drink. You buy, you buy!? Women would grab my hand as I walked through alleys and when I pulled free they'd yell abuse in Indonesian. The porters at the airport demanded we opened our bags, then charged us $20 to get to out; we'd been warned about grifting but when it's your first time in an international airport you get a bit freaked. One night in Seminyak a man dressed as a policeman popped up behind a fence in a dark yard and asked me if I wanted to come and smoke the reefer with him. I'm pretty sure that's a one way ticket to extortion. Overall, I appreciated the beauty of the place and the amazing food, but I'm not sure if I'd have the balls to return.

We are home now and back to work. Routine is difficult to manage now thanks to my son suddenly testing our every last bit of patience, but I'll break him. He turns three in under a month. That'll be a magic number right? Perfectly behaved children start at 3, right?