Friday, March 2, 2012

Do Angels Exist?

I have always been a morbid kind of person. I grew up believing in ghosts and angels and demons, so definitely that I would lie awake at night with the covers over my head terrified to look out into the darkness. In our house in the country you had to pass a screen door to get to the bathroom. Late night pee breaks would fill me with dread. I would close my eyes and run past that door for fear of the Mothman or some freaky dark angel standing under the clothesline.

 My mother has a strong connection to the afterlife. Or fascination with it. I don't know, but don't ask her if you get spooked easily. The day I told her I don't have a guardian angel she kind of shot me this 'oh god, she knows'  face. She denies any recollection of this at all now. Mum on the other hand has so many angels. She sees them all the time in various things, in butterflies in particular. I think it's a bit cliché how many people see their butterfly angels, but it must be an easy way for angels to communicate with their peeps.

Anyway, for years I believed I don't have an angel. I asked and looked and begged and meditated on it. It's a similar feeling of rejection that I got when I'd ask and beg for Jesus to be my pal and walk with me the way he walks with mormons and stuff. It didn't seem fair to me and I convinced myself that it must be my soul; maybe I've done bad things in a previous life?
The angel above my son's bed
These days I am pretty sure that someone is looking out for me in some capacity. This year has been a big overhaul of beliefs and spirituality for me, and it's only March. I'm not in a rush to figure out the meaning of life, but I know what I feel and I feel that an angel might have found me. I really think spirituality and psyche go hand in hand; and unhealthy psyche leads to an unhealthy spirituality and vice versa. Maybe that's why I have had this awakening of ease - I'm getting better.

Edenland's Fresh Horses Brigade

Eden from Edenland take photos of the feathers her angels leave behind. What do you believe?

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