Dark days

I thought I had depression all worked out. The curtains were drawn and the windows opened in my head and it was light and airy. I guess I got too cocky.

It's been a tricky week. The frustrating part is I can read the symptoms - stress, difficulty sleeping, lax in exercise - but I can't read the cause. I have no idea why I feel the way I do. Well, I have ideas as to what causes a few symptoms, but I'll be damned if I can differentiate between this week and the 'good' weeks. So I hate my job, who doesn't? So my kid wakes me up too early in the morning, who's doesn't? Why is this week special? Why do I suddenly become this horrible, erratic emotional volcano erupting on my wonderful husband and son? 

I don't know the answer, but I do know that this has me shaking in my boots. Maybe I'm not okay after all.