Bad Mama

I just went ballistic at Axel. He was being a rat bag but it was a bit off kilter. The slightest thing is setting me off lately. And I'm sick and moody. Either this is the world's worst PMS or I'm a genuine crazy lady now.

I have my 9 month old niece here today and she has been testing my strength as well. Always with the crying and needing assistance and supervision. Why can't kids just be like adults!? She is asleep now and it was Axel's screeching and whooping that made me angry before. If he wakes her up prematurely I might just cry.

Last night I snuck out of the house to watch a show at Brisbane Powerhouse. It was so nice to get out, but I felt ripped off when one of the trio of Post was replaced by a dude because she's off having a baby. It's not excuse I tell you! She's meant to be a she. Not a he in a wig. The show was followed by a trip down memory lane; to the Pancake Manor on Charlotte St. The old church fills me with nostalgia of my younger, singler days. I don't miss it as such, but it was nice to go and sit and chat to old friends until the wee hours. The pancakes have changed (how disappointment) but the company hasn't.

Now for a giant cup of coffee.

Plans

Today did not go as planned.

The plan wasn't set in stone or too important, but it mostly centered around cleaning up the unknown pubes and spews left in my bathroom thanks to the impromptu house party here on Thursday night. It wasn't my doing; I was at work when it began and it ended pretty swiftly when I got home. Friends of ours got married on Thursday at the registry office, and had nothing better planned so ended up raiding my liquor cabinet that night while I worked my butt off. Thanks to working all day yesterday, the place was still a total shitfight this morning. And still is now.

This morning during his nap I noticed Axel making weird noises. I went and checked on him to find him virtually choking on his enlarged tonsils. Sooo it was off to the emergency ward where we waited to see a doctor. And waited, and waited, for four hours. The most frustrating part is when we finally got in [to see an excellent pediatrician] there was no better news than to send us on our way with a referral that is expected to take around four months. Thanks Queensland Health system! I hope my kid doesn't die while you're sorting your shit out. It is the kick in the pants we need to get off our butts and buy private health insurance, with the only problem being the money to get it. Ah well, maybe less parties.

Anyway, as Saturday winds to a close I am sitting here nursing a strong drink. I am meant to be at work and Axel with his uncle for the night, but seeing as I had to call in sick I kept him home anyway. He is eating a sandwich for dinner because the meal planned was for the slow cooker, and being home is a requirement when using a slow cooker. The house is a mess, the dogs haven't had any attention or exercise and the laundry basket doth overflow. Whatever, there's always tomorrow.

I keep forgetting to be a blogger

So July was a busy month! I finished up at my job, got married, went to Bali, came back to find my son has fully transformed into an evil genius and my bank account has been emptied. Woohoo!

July Debrief Commence!

Quitting my job (as I mentioned already) was scary shizzle, but I am so relieved to be rid of that place. I popped in the other day after not seeing it for a month and had several customers ask me when I was coming back. Oh they loves them some Amy! Most of my staff have jumped ship, and the remaining two original staff members look pretty miserable. It's not nice to enjoy that sort of thing is it? But maybe now the owners will appreciate my work... not likely.

Then we got married! I had to leave my last day of work early to drive down to the bay to have a rehearsal with the celebrant. It was freezing cold and blowing a gale. The celebrant declared we wouldn't be able to marry outside. I was devastated and made her promise to wait and see what the weather would be like in a few days. The night before the wedding we spontaneously met up with family and friends for dinner. It was the most fun I've had in ages and I am so thankful that it worked out so well. The next morning it was cold and dreary with misty rain. I decided there was no point in wallowing and stayed positive. By midday it was bright, sunny and still. Perfect! The wedding went ahead perfectly, with the only drama being that one of the cars didn't show and we had to be ferried in the same car to the reception, making me a very late bride. But that's the point right?

Bali was um... a culture shock. It was definitely an interesting experience. I don't think I could ever learn to be comfortable with being a rich person in a poor country. The desperation and despair was incredibly unnerving, and the pressure to buy, spend, eat, drink. You buy, you buy!? Women would grab my hand as I walked through alleys and when I pulled free they'd yell abuse in Indonesian. The porters at the airport demanded we opened our bags, then charged us $20 to get to out; we'd been warned about grifting but when it's your first time in an international airport you get a bit freaked. One night in Seminyak a man dressed as a policeman popped up behind a fence in a dark yard and asked me if I wanted to come and smoke the reefer with him. I'm pretty sure that's a one way ticket to extortion. Overall, I appreciated the beauty of the place and the amazing food, but I'm not sure if I'd have the balls to return.

We are home now and back to work. Routine is difficult to manage now thanks to my son suddenly testing our every last bit of patience, but I'll break him. He turns three in under a month. That'll be a magic number right? Perfectly behaved children start at 3, right?

A big day

I just quit my job.

I just walked in there with a very polite and professional letter, hid it among some other mail and slinked on out. Rick says that's unprofessional, but so is treating your manager like crap.

I am still shaking a wee bit. I just quit my freakin job! I sure did like that weekly wage! For the past two years I've been managing a little café + bookshop business, originally for a couple of ultra hip 30-somethings with better things to do, and recently for the younger Taiwanese couple who just bought it. I have so much love for the place but have been starting to realise how difficult it is to distinguish between love and comfort. The relationship between me and the new owners has been on the decline for a little while; it is crystal clear to me that they want to run the place on their own but have legal obligations to keep me. After reaching near-breaking point with them a month ago, and coupled with the fact that my toddler son is not enjoying daycare, I decided to lump it.

I just quit my damn job, oh man.

I had a trial at a cute little organic-only café today, because you know, money is a necessary evil. They dug me and I dug them, so I'm starting when I get back from my honeymoon. Only for a few days a week so I can watch my niece while my sister-in-law [the good one] is at uni, and so I can spend more time with my baby boy. You know the one; the guy who was eight months old when I went back to work, who can now suddenly do ones and twos in the toilet for days on end without accidents. Yeah, that cool guy.

I am so sorry I didn't quit this stinkin' job sooner kid.

Three weeks to go dun dun dunnnn

Three weeks from today I will be getting married! Pretty freakin' excited. There are a tonne of things to do still; find a replacement photographer for the butt-face one that backed out, find a band because all of a sudden one month out Rick decides it is necessary after all (!!), and last but not least find my sister a freakin bridesmaid dress. Things certainly haven't gone to plan, but I'm mostly filled with excitement nerves instead of stress nerves.

I haven't really touched on the ex-bridesmaid issue too much here, but lets just say while losing a bridesmaid a few weeks out from a wedding isn't ideal, I am so relieved. It was a case of asking the wrong person to be a bridesmaid, and it only got worse when a bunch of lies she told came out and cemented our status as EX friends. I was so sure I knew her; we'd been friends for almost three years and I knew her family, she used to hang out with us and babysit our son and introduce us to boyfriends. But somewhere in the last 6 months she began to change and drift away from all of us (mutual friends included). In the end she showed a nasty and immature side of herself that I had no idea existed. Her sister (who I was naive enough to consider a friend as well) was meant to be our photographer, so it was a bit of a double whammy. I actually approached her gently and asked her if she'd mind if I made my sister a bm instead of her and she was fine with it; even a little cold in saying "I don't know why you didn't do that in the first place". The fall out was a few days later when I discovered she had lied about being at uni for the last semester just to get the days off she wanted at work. I always thought we were friends first, boss and employee second. But a friend wouldn't lie about something as huge as quitting uni. In the end I guess I gauged it all wrong and were never friends at all. When we fell out she sent some horrible texts and threw it all over facebook about how I was a crap friend and all she did was try and make me like her... it didn't make sense to me at all but I'm not going to play into that school-girl stuff. Just accept it and move on I say!

I am pretty proud of my new grown up self.

So now I have to find a dress for sisterino, and seeing as the original dresses are black with a white sash I think i'll just let her go for something black and she feels good in and add the detail. No point stressing! I'm getting married in three weeks!

Negatives. Positives. Stevie Nicks?

Saturday has been good to me. I slept in til 8:30 this morning (with a prelude of toddler goodness at 6:30) and had a decent percentage of mama-son play time within the day. I have watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory three times today. My laundry is done and dusted for the entire week including ironing! That is a huge deal for me, and made possible thanks to a sick day on Friday.

Friday was big.

I went to the fricking dentist on Friday. For the first time since I was 14. That's ten years folks. Well, I did go in six months ago for x-rays to figure out what the problem I've been having was caused by. Yeh.. turns out there's more than 'a' problem. But I am so damned proud of myself anyway. It seems so minuscule when compared to other peoples' stuff, but I have seriously developed a full blown anxiety/phobia issue when it comes to dentists. I am so chuffed that I handled it, and did NOT spew on the dental nurse as per that time when I was 14!

Anyway, the negative that I was referring to in my title up there. My boss, we shall call him Jerkface, has gone over my head and given shifts to my hot-headed little ex-bridesmaid/ex-employee/reinstated-employee for the weekends. No amount of discussion-turned-pleading has been able to change this situation. I am at my wits end with this job. I enjoy the job; it's definitely not difficult compared to other jobs I've held and I enjoy the regularity of the money. But at the end of the day I am so frustrated with the complete lack of respect from the owners (Jerkface) that I am fighting my urge to quit every second of every day. I just don't know how much more I can take.

But, ya know. Whatever. I am getting married to a total babe in less than a month, and I have faith that the rest will fall into place. I guess I should be pleased that at the very least my mind is clear. I am happy. I am stressed to the nutballs fo sho with this bullshit job, but when I contemplate my life? Yeah, I'm happy. It'll get better. Oh and I'm banging out the Fleetwood Mac this evening, because I can.

Peace out!